Couples Therapy

The approach I use is based on Bowlby’s Attachment Theory. It’s a structured, evidence-based model aimed at helping couples reconnect. Attachment Theory recognises that from the time we’re born, we need to be emotionally and physically nurtured. This desire for protection in the form of connection never leaves us.

As adults, we know that we can do life on our own, but it’s usually not what we desire. It’s normal and healthy for humans to seek out a partner to share life with – someone we can depend and rely on. When we reach out in need, we want to know our partner will be there. We’re happier, healthier and more confident when we can come home to an environment that’s nurturing and loving, where we feel understood and accepted.

By contrast, living in constant conflict is akin to living in a war-zone. Our inbuilt protection systems, or fight-or-flight mechanisms, are constantly activated and we feel under continual threat.

The therapeutic approach promotes and encourages the bond between partners. Together, we’ll gain a deeper understanding of the barriers between you and your partner. Working from these insights, you’ll learn the skills you both need to communicate and connect deeply.

The aftermath of an emotional or physical affair is traumatic for a couple. If you have made discovery of an affair, you are likely to experience it as horrifying and to feel a sense of helplessness. Your sense of safety in the world is threatened. But often affairs don’t mean the end of a relationship, and you can benefit from support to help you work through the damage an affair has caused. Relationship therapy can help you rebuild trust and security once more by processing the trauma.

Experiencing a loss, such as miscarriage, the death of a loved one and illness can have a profound impact on your outlook on life. This in turn can put strain on your relationship and can cause your bond to break down. Therapy can help you restore this connection.

In a healthy relationship, you prioritise the relationship with your partner over other relationships. Although other relationships are important, your primary emotional connection is with your partner.

When you and/or your partner is addicted, your primary relationship is with your substance of choice. This means that you are not able to connect in a healthy way to one another. Therapy can help you undo these destructive ways of engaging and focus on each other once more.